Real life jokes

There's an American family here that we've become very good friends with. We (meaning me and my room mate) heard some 'good ones' from them, and I couldn't resist putting them here. All of these are true stories from the local court system:

1. Once upon a time, there was this person who was very fond of marijuana. So fond, in fact, that he grew them at home. So, so very fond, that he was afraid that they might get stolen. What does he do? The natural thing: he installs a hi-tech security system at his home. And just in time too, as a few days later, someone does try to gain entry. The security system does its job, and alarms go off everywhere... including the cops, who arrive, and find the thief, yes, but also the beloved marijuana plants. Do I need to tell the rest?

2. It seems a lot of people love marijuana, because this next one is about them too. As before, there was someone who grew marijuana at home. At some point, he needed to be away from home for a few days. Of course, it's highly unsafe to leave such healthy, precious plants at home, so he left it on the front seat of his car, which he parked at the Airport parking lot. When he returned, the car was there, safe and sound, and so were the plants, safe and healthy, but so were some cops, waiting for him.

3. There was this young lady who was due for a drug test. She didn't make it on schedule, which would usually incur heavy penalties. She comes in, finally, a few days later, and insists that they take her test that very day, and without penalties. "Wouldn't you do it even if I had cut my ear off?" You cut your ear off???!!! Sure enough, there it was, a gaping hole where the ear should have been. How the heck did you manage to do that? The young lady is nonchalant: "Well, I was running down my drive way with the chainsaw in my hand, and I tripped and fell... Now, would you please take the drug test today itself and let me go?? I need to get the test done today itself..."

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Weird, the kind of things people come up with in real life!! Makes for good comedies, though!

Scared Species?

Before you read this post, you might want to check this out, which this post is all about...

What is it with the Australian Cricket team, and the Australian media? Why does someone always have to make some comment or another about everyone in the opposite team? I would have thought that with the quality of the present Australian team, any under the belt tactics would not be used, would not be needed, to win cricket matches.

But no, all that you get to hear is Glenn McGrath blabbering about how Sachin, Sourav, Rahul, and any other batsman of repute in the Indian team will be sitting ducks to him, and how he would castle / york / induce a nick / ... / ... them to give their wickets up. There'd be something about chin music, there'd be something about old age, there'd be... Heck, it's too big a list to write here.

The point here isn't that the Indian team is the best in the world; it's not. But why make unwarranted comments? It's a cricket match, let it remain a cricket match!

Well, before you talk, Mr Ray Bright and Mr Rodney Hogg, why don't you think for a minute? Remember 2001? Remember 2003-04? Remember the 20-20 championship a few days back? Remember getting hammered by a relative youngster called Yuvraj Singh? Remember the runs he made? Remember the number of balls he took to make those runs? Remember this was in South Africa, where the pitches are quicker than in India? Remember that the Stuart Clarke you're talking about was in that match? Remember Brett Lee was there as well??

Nah, I'm sure you don't...

A flood of new experiences

Well, I am not in my home town any more. For the past month I am at Blacksburg, Virginia, USA, and if all goes to plan I might be here for the next few years. I am done with Bachelor of Mechanical Engg, and now I am here for Graduate study! Virginia Tech is a premier institute, and it is quite an honor (I am trying to convert to US spellings) to be a part of it!!

And then of course are the differences from India. It has only been a month, so at least till now I am noticing all the positives. It's a beautiful place (you can see some photos that I shot here, and some photos at the VT website here. Hopefully I will be able to get some more photos online soon), and is basically a university town, meaning it's a town that has grown around the University here, which is Virginia Tech. As with all small places, it's very peaceful and calm and quiet, and unlike some smaller places in India, there is no shortage of facilities.

Public transport is excellent, with Blacksburg Transit catering to all transportation needs with its fleet of buses. Unlike in India, the buses actually follow schedules, so you will miss the 9:30 bus if you reach the bus stop at 9:30:30 secs. Well, maybe not really 30 secs off, but you get the point. On the up side, you can really plan your movement, as you know when you will board and get off the bus. On the flip side, you are sure that you have to wait for whatever minutes before the next bus comes in, in case you do miss the bus by a whisker (trust me, it does happen... you are 30 secs from the bus stop, and you watch it pull away and go past you. These guys really follow their time!).

The campus is actually a city in itself. It occupies 2600 acres!! And excluding the living space of 18000 students who live off the campus. All the public bus routes actually run through the university, and you usually use the bus to travel from one part of the campus to another. The campus facilities are excellent, of course. The entire campus is Wi-Fi enabled, and you can access the internet from literally anywhere on campus. The internet connection that I get on my laptop is 6Mbps!!

One big difference that I notice is the adherence to road rules. People actually follow rules here, and not grudgingly, because a police officer is standing round the corner. It is a welcome change. Pedestrians are actually given right of way at zebra crossings, and all vehicles will come to a halt when they see you trying to cross the road at a zebra crossing. On campus this system takes a cruel turn sometimes. Between classes, there are actually hordes of students running from here to there, and crossing the streets. The vehicles are left stranded at the zebra crossings, as the students keep coming! It gets pretty irritating if you are sitting in a bus and getting late for class, but you have the comfort of knowing that the rules remain the same when we need to cross, and everyone stops for me too.

The campus, in addition to being BIG, is also very very pretty! All the buildings are made with a traditional stone called the Hokie Stone. This stone is mined from quarries owned (yes, owned) by Virginia Tech, and used for all construction on campus. The effect is magnificent!

Everything to do with VTech is called a Hokie. Actually every University has its own nickname that it uses for people who are part of it; I think it started from having nicknames for their football team. The VTech nickname is "Hokie". So all VTech students are Hokies, the VTech ID Card is called the Hokie Passport, the stone used for construction is the Hokie Stone, and the VTech football team (American football, as distinct from soccer) is called the Hokies. So, ladies and gentlemen, I am a Hokie!

I think this is quite long enough for one post. Will take this up again in the next post!

On the off-side, there's God, and then there's...

Sourav Ganguly. He's Back. Back roaring, back firing on all cylinders.

I found a great presentation at rediff.com, and couldn't help but place the link here:
Bengal Tiger roaring again

If you're a Ganguly fan, go ahead, enjoy. If you're not, can you give some reasons (a little logic too, please) why not?

Thank you, Sourav, for being you. Thank you, for being such an inspiration.

Tagged?

I'm not sure how this goes, but my friend Sohini recently told me she has 'tagged' me. What's that, I asked, and was told that it means I have to write 8 things about myself on my blog...

Well, why not? It's nice to introspect once in a while, yes? It's nice to try to put words together about oneself, for a change... we are constantly describing others, so why not myself for a change?

Well, I discovered when trying to type this piece, that describing myself was turning out to be writing about my strengths, those qualities that define me as a person, and my weaknesses, which, well, detract from my personality, and which I'd rather work on improving.

Well, my negatives (as perceived my me) are not for public consumption. If I do have negative qualities that I am aware of, I would much rather work on them, than write about them. The world is full of people trying to speak ill of everyone else anyway, and why, pray, would I give them a free hand??

And I don't think my strengths (at least, what I think are my strengths) are meant to be paraded on my own blog. My strengths are for others to recognize and appreciate, not for me to harp on.

Sorry, Sohini, but I am not good at 'Tagged'.

End of a chapter... contd.

It's one thing to feel for the university as a whole, to miss the ambience, and the fun times...

It's quite another to say good bye to friends. As we all go our own ways, we have to say good bye, to four years of friendship, four years of growing up to be men after starting out as boys, four years of a many a good times...

Today someone that I call a very good friend leaves for his next chapter: that of IIM Lucknow. A great feat, a great achievement. Jebu, we'll miss you.

Yes, I agree, Jebu is not the first from our section to leave Kolkata, but certainly he is the first really good friend to separate...

We should all be happy: this is one of many success stories in our batch...

Yet, why does it hurt?

Priceless, v2.0

Talking of things, moments, and people priceless, see this post from a friend of mine...

This is one of those posts that you can read again and again, and feel very good every single time...

Priceless: the subject of the post, and to a lesser degree the post itself...

Priceless

My maternal grandma recently took an audacious tourist trip... to Thailand, Malaysia, and Singapore... She was not keeping the best of health, yet she was bold enough to go with a friend of hers... Of course it was with a tourism operator, SOTC, yet she was "alone", with none from her own family accompanying her...

Well, she is back, and it's a treat to simply watch the expressions on her face as she describes her tour!! The hotels, the food, the tours, the air travel, the scenery... it's all there, right there on her face...

Remember the Mastercard ad??

Well, it's true... To watch your elders become children again: Priceless!!

A farcical test...

I had my driving test today, at the Motor Vehicles Department...

I had hoped that the test would be a genuine affair, with perhaps an inspector asking us to do a bit of driving on our own... Well, I know this is India, and moreover this is West Bengal, yet I had hoped for a semblance of sincerity... after all, this is the driving test; this is about road safety!!!

Guess what... I was wrong... This was the most farcical test that I have ever been witness to. I was actually behind the steering wheel (one of the few who were actually behind the wheel; many never even got into the car), but even then, an instructor from my training school was with me, and to ensure there was no chance of a mess-up, even the remotest one, he practically did all the driving!! He overrided the clutch and brake, and asked me to simply keep the accelerator at an appropriate position...

It was disgusting!! It's my test, and can't I even expect to have a decent go at it??

Yes, I agree, mostly the training institutes make sure the candidates are genuine, that they indeed know driving...

But what of the small fraction who get in unwarranted??

End of a chapter

For four years now, I have been proudly calling myself a student of JU, Jadavpur University. For four years, my identity has been "Arnab Gupta, ME Dept, JU". Well, that chapter of my life has all but come to an end.

This week, we appeared for our final Grand Vivas, to mark the completion of our Engineering Degree Course. The official marksheets, and Degree Certificates are some months away, but for all practical puposes, we are done with JU.

It's a mixed feeling, that... One the one hand there is the inevitable relief, the thrill of being able to write 'B.E.' after my name. That is all that these four years were about, and yes, we have all made it...

But on the other, there is this great sorrow, an empty feeling, to just think that we will no longer be at JU. The JU campus almost becomes a second home for its members, and it is like leaving home... We are elated with our accomplishments, we are looking behind with pride and forward with hope and determination, but in the middle lies the present, full of nostalgia and feeling and those wonderful moments that we have been through together...

Thank you JU, for giving us all that you have; thank you, for making me what I am today.

Adios!